A “Christian” in Our Marriage By Alan Hitchen
When Christians have marriage problems there is
always a disconnect between the life they live among
their brethren and the one they live at home. Any
husband/wife using the same faithful service and zeal to
serve the Lord at home as elsewhere won’t have
such problems. The single greatest thing any couple can
do to make their marriage successful is to make
certain loving their neighbor as themselves includes their
spouse. This is how
Peter summed up the husband’s role. “Husbands, dwell with them
according to
knowledge” (1 Pet. 3:7).
According to is defined: “relation,
proportion...agreement or conformity to a standard; ... according to
the measure of” (Thayer p. 328; 2596). So husbands
are to dwell with their wives to the measure of and
in conformity to the standard of knowledge.”
All interaction with our wives is done in
proportion and conforming to the standard of knowledge. What
knowledge? Why limit it? All inspired revelation
that has any application to our marriage is the gold
standard for dwelling with our wives. Just as we
“turn the other cheek and go the second mile” for others
we do so for our wives. As we repent and “confess
our sin one to another” we also confess to our wives.
To our wives also we never “let the sun go down on
our wrath” and always “do unto others as we would
others do unto us.” The more spiritual growth, the
better a wife is cared for. All “firstfruits” of our
spiritual harvest are given to our wife.
Though worded differently the same command is
given to wives. “Wives, submit to your own husbands,
as to the Lord... just as the
church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in
everything” (Eph. 5:22-24).
This word is “an adverb of comparison... in the same manner... exactly
"like” (Thayer, p. 680; 5613).
When a wife submits to her husband as unto the
Lord she submits exactly like she does for her Lord. All
she does for the Lord she will also do for her
husband. First, she respects and submits to her husband in
the same manner as unto the Lord. Second, all she
does to comply to the Lord’s commands she also does
for her husband. When the Lord commands she turn
the other cheek she does it exactly like she does it for
the Lord. Any command of Jesus regarding her
conduct of a saint applies equally to her marriage. She
does these for her “own” husband “in everything.”
The same “fruit of the Spirit” she gathers for
Jesus she gives to her husband. As she “adds to her faith,
virtue, knowledge, self-control perseverance,
godliness, brotherly kindness and love” she gives these
things to her husband.
So husband and wife walk in humble submission and
sacrificial love both for themselves and for the
Lord.
No faithful Christian has a double standard.
Sincere growth is seen by both spouse and children
first.
Growing as a Christian is “beholding as in
a mirror the glory of the Lord” and “being transformed into
the same image from glory to glory.” (2
Cor. 3:18). As that glory is reflected in the church, we see
godlyand devout Christians walking humbly with their Lord. As that glory is
reflected in the marriage, we see a devoted husband and a submissive wife
serving one another in the fear of the Lord and being greatly blessed.