“Will
You Marry Me?”
Part V
How much do you know about marriage?
In observance of humanity, I am persuaded to believe that too many know too
little about this subject. I invite you to study this very important theme
as God has instructed and instituted this union.
The need is obvious. It is obvious by the fact that two out of three
marriages end in divorce today (a stat that has even found its way into the
“Body of Christ”). It is obvious
by the advice given by marriage counselors, preachers, in-laws, lawyers,
advice columnists, and by this entire like. It is obvious by the attitude of
many of our civil authorities, Senators, representatives, and so on. It is
obvious by the teaching that our children are exposed to in our public
schools.
It is interesting to note that none of the above, including most preachers,
refer to God’s word in dealing with marital problems, or even teaching in
advance the understanding of marriage as God has revealed it. God’s word
affirms that there is not a problem that a husband or wife may have that God
doesn’t answer.
The key is:
APPLICATION!!!
In lesson
four, we began a study of the husband’s responsibilities in the marriage
relationship. We found that God gave him to be head or overseer of that
relationship. As such, he is to be an example and he is to so fulfill this
responsibility as to gain and deserve the respect of his wife. We also found
that he is to love his wife, that is, he is to be devoted to her and show
her affection.
In this
lesson, let us begin by examining Paul’s instruction for the husband to
nourish and cherish his wife.
Nourish
–
This is a
concept that is at the very foundation of a successful marriage and at the
heart of the man’s responsibility.
Ephesians 5:28-29
“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own
bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.
29
For no one
ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the
Lord does the church.”
The fact
exists that if every husband truly loves his wife as he loves himself, he
will treat his wife as he treats himself. If he fails to do this he fails in
his responsibility to cherish her.
The very
meaning of the word nourish illustrates that he must feed, support,
maintain, and care for her needs. In this, he is to feed, support, maintain,
and care for her as he does for himself.
The word
carries an understanding of a working knowledge in the work of a nurseryman;
the pure care for that which is in need of sustenance, warmth, and care. Can
a husband nourish his wife if he is absent? Can he nourish her in
disrespect? Can he nourish her by treating her as a possession?
CERTAINLY
NOT!!!
They are
one flesh, and he must care for her in the same way he would for himself,
without question. Any man that cannot see the need and the value in this is
not ready to give himself in marriage!
The
standard for the extent of his responsibility to nourish his wife is set by
the standard that the Lord set for nourishing
“His Body”, the church!
Ephesians 5:25-27
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved
the church and gave Himself for her,
26
that He
might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,
27
that He
might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle
or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.”
Cherish
–
The word
“Cherish” is similar in nature
to “Nourish”, but adds to it;
“To hold dear”,
“To treat tenderly”,
“To protect”, and
“To cling to”.
The same
rule applies here as before, he is to do this for her as he would do this
for himself.
Can you
feature calling yourself terrible names in private or public, running
yourself down to others, being disloyal to yourself, beating yourself, or in
general being cruel to yourself??? Wouldn’t you think that a man who would
willingly do these things to himself is mentally unstable??? Is he any less
deranged if he does the same to his wife???
If in fact
if he is mentally stable and still treats his wife with this amount of
disrespect, then he is a criminal before the Lord!
Fact #1:
Proverbs 18:22
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the
Lord.”
If you
cannot see the value inherent in your wife, or you don’t think she is what
she should be, look in the mirror and see if perhaps you are the reason. Do
you see her real value? Are you treating her as yourself? Is she the most
precious thing to you under God?
Fact #2:
1 Peter 3:7
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with
understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel,
and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that
your prayers may not be hindered.”
If we
cannot understand that she needs from us as much as we want from her,
we will never honor her, or create the environment of mutual growth
(a complete lack of nurseryman care = no growth).
Fact #3:
In the
combination of lesson four and five, the fact stands that the man has the
greatest responsibility first
(not the only responsibility, as we will study next); but that he
establishes the foundations of godly love in the home (the responsibility of
a leader).
He sees his
bride above all other women, seeks to be with her, shares himself with her
completely, relies on her as his confidante, is completely interested in her
needs, and all that would describe harmonic unity (one flesh).
Next: “Responsibilities of the Wife!”