“Will
You Marry Me?”
Part VI
How much do you know about marriage?
In observance of humanity, I am persuaded to believe that too many know too
little about this subject. I invite you to study this very important theme
as God has instructed and instituted this union.
The need is obvious. It is obvious by the fact that two out of three
marriages end in divorce today (a stat that has even found its way into the
“Body of Christ”). It is obvious
by the advice given by marriage counselors, preachers, in-laws, lawyers,
advice columnists, and by this entire like. It is obvious by the attitude of
many of our civil authorities, Senators, representatives, and so on. It is
obvious by the teaching that our children are exposed to in our public
schools.
It is interesting to note that none of the above, including most preachers,
refer to God’s word in dealing with marital problems, or even teaching in
advance the understanding of marriage as God has revealed it. God’s word
affirms that there is not a problem that a husband or wife may have that God
doesn’t answer.
The key is:
APPLICATION!!!
Before we actually begin with the wife’s responsibilities in the marriage
relationship, there are a few things that we need to understand about the
role of the woman.
As all of us are well aware, we live in a day and age in which there is much
ado about how abused the woman is. Women are being led to believe that men
have reduced them to a foot scraper. She is being bombarded with influences
that state she is equal to men and in some cases superior to men. There is a
little truth in these points, especially when it comes to capability, but
they are little truths that are not understood.
Some men have reduced some women to a very low degree, in contrast to the
training God’s word speaks about and we have studied in the previous
lessons. This is magnified by men not knowing their place in God’s scheme
for marriage, and women not knowing their place, and allowing men to
mistreat, or misuse them. God made the women to be a compatible companion, a
helper for the man.
In her place in God’s home and so far as her responsibilities are concerned,
she is equal to man. In her place in God’s home specifically, she is
superior to man. God gave her purposes that man cannot perform, and in those
things she is superior to man.
In areas of emotion, she is superior to men. A man cannot hold a candle to
her tenderness. He cannot come anywhere near expressing the love that only a
mother can express for her children. It cannot be denied that in many areas
she is superior to man!
The shame of the modern doctrines that promote in a militant style that
women must reject their superiority, as given, and strive to find
superiority in realms not meant for them by their Creator, sadly takes away
what is solely their purview, beauty, and competence. In these areas
where she was not meant to be superior, even God calls her the “weaker
vessel”; whereby God expresses a difference in equality.
1 Peter 3:7
“Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with
understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as
being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be
hindered.”
Since the responsibilities of man and women in the marriage relationship are
different and one cannot completely fulfill those of the other; the man and
woman are not equal.
This has nothing to do with women in the workforce and in fact if a woman is
hired to do the same work that a man does, there should be no difference in
the amount they are compensated.
In a separate issue, we should also note that there are different kinds of
women; there are virtuous women (morally excellent), and those who are not
virtuous. Let’s look into some instruction in defining these types of women,
by God’s word:
Proverbs 12:4
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his
bones.”
Proverbs 18:22
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the
Lord.”
Proverbs 31:10
“Who can find a virtuous wife?
For her worth is far above rubies.”
1 Peter 3:1-6
“Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own
husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may
be won by the conduct of their wives,
2
when they
observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
3
Do not let
your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or
putting on fine apparel—
4
rather
let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible
beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight
of God.
5
For in this
manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned
themselves, being submissive to their own husbands,
6
as Sarah
obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and
are not afraid with any terror.”
These
statements serve to show what God thinks of a good woman and their true
value, as well as what every woman and girl should strive to attain. Look
now at the other side of the coin:
Proverbs 9:13
“A foolish woman is clamorous;
She is simple, and knows nothing.”
Proverbs 11:22
“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout,
So is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.”
Proverbs 21:19
“Better to dwell in the wilderness,
Than with a contentious and angry woman.”
Proverbs 23:27-28
“For a harlot is a deep pit,
And a seductress is a narrow well.
28
She also
lies in wait as for a victim,
And increases the unfaithful among men.”
Proverbs 27:15
“A continual dripping on a very rainy day
And a contentious woman are alike”
In summary
of these points; there is nothing more destructive than a bad woman, and
nothing more constructive than a good woman. Now with these thoughts in
mind, we can progress on to examine some of the woman’s responsibilities in
marriage.
Submission -
In God’s rebuke of Eve;
Genesis 3:16
“To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your
sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall
bring forth children; Your desire shall be
for your husband, And he shall rule over you.””
He would
enforce that her desire would be to her husband, and that he would rule over
her. This simply means that she was to be in submission to him, he being her
head. Not only is the wife taught to be in submission to her husband, she is
also taught to what extent she is to submit to her husband;
“as to the Lord”.
The wife is
not to submit to her husband if he demands of her something that is contrary
to the doctrine of Christ. By the same token, he is also engaging in
activity that is contrary to the will of God when he asks her something that
is against God’s will.
An
understanding of this point will forever do away with the wife trying to be
the head of her husband. She must realize that in the Lord, he is her head,
her overseer, her guide, her leader, and respond accordingly.
There is
nothing more detrimental than a wife who bosses her husband as though he
doesn’t know first thing about his responsibilities. This is seen when the
bride of Christ; likewise commands the head instead of being submissive to
His preeminence; the result is
apostasy.
Parents, we
must teach our sons to be godly men and our daughters to be godly women, in
order for them to be joined in pure harmony. This can only be done
when we are practicing what God teaches; Husbands to be the heads of the
relationship and home, loving his wife as himself. Wives in submission and
joined with their own husbands in completing what God has charged them to
complete.