“Will
You Marry Me?”
Part VII
How much do you know about marriage?
In observance of humanity, I am persuaded to believe that too many know too
little about this subject. I invite you to study this very important theme
as God has instructed and instituted this union.
The need is obvious. It is obvious by the fact that two out of three
marriages end in divorce today (a stat that has even found its way into the
“Body of Christ”). It is obvious
by the advice given by marriage counselors, preachers, in-laws, lawyers,
advice columnists, and by this entire like. It is obvious by the attitude of
many of our civil authorities, Senators, representatives, and so on. It is
obvious by the teaching that our children are exposed to in our public
schools.
It is interesting to note that none of the above, including most preachers,
refer to God’s word in dealing with marital problems, or even teaching in
advance the understanding of marriage as God has revealed it. God’s word
affirms that there is not a problem that a husband or wife may have that God
doesn’t answer.
The key is:
APPLICATION!!!
In
lesson six, we learned that God values highly, a good woman and commends
such to men in order to complete them. We also illustrated that God made the
woman to be in subjection to her husband and what that practically looks
like. Now we want to continue with yet another responsibility of the wife to
her husband.
Respect
Her Husband -
Ephesians 5:33
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love
his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects
her husband.”
This is a
double barreled statement in that it hits both the husband and the wife with
specific responsibilities. Due to the fact that we have already studied the
husband’s responsibility to love his wife, we want to devote our attention
to the responsibility of the wife to
“Respect her husband”.
For the
husband to be able to love his wife as himself, the wife cannot be unlovely,
nor can she demand affection where it is undeserved. For the husband to love
his wife above any earthly anything, she should manifest such a spirit as
would make that possible.
A wife can
easily alienate the affections of her partner (this goes both ways as we
have already spent time on the husbands side of this); if she is of an
irritable and of a faultfinding disposition, if none of his ways please her,
if she has no interest in his plans. This rift can continue to grow if she
forsakes the home, if she seeks happiness elsewhere. She cannot respect her
husband if she is predisposed to never greeting her mate with a smile, if
she is wasteful of their earnings, etc…
This kind
of rift is damaging in any relationship where team work is vital to harmonic
success. These notations are vital in the process of selection before oaths
are exchanged in order to make sure through the vetting process that
compatible priorities to God’s purposes can be met.
If on the
other hand, the wife can manifest God’s mandated responsibilities to her
husband, there would never be any reason to withhold his complete affection
to his wife in fulfillment of her needs. To honor, respect, and join forces
with her husband is to create an unbreakable bond that can accomplish any
purpose in a godly home (the husband has been given the responsibility to
form the godly foundations of his home and together with his help-meet, they
are accomplished).
The
greatest tool at her disposal in the accomplishments of her responsibilities
can be found in devotion to love; God first, and then to her husband.
Help
Meet –
In
Genesis
2:18; the New King James uses the term
“helper”, and although accurate,
I have always been very fond of the original King James in this passage and
the term “Help Meet”.
In
everything we have discussed thus far, we can clearly see that man could not
complete his God given family responsibilities without his perfect mate,
match, and help meet (as she literally helps him meet his godly goals).
The man has
never lived that could provide a better, a more qualified companion,
partner, or helper than the woman (God’s wisdom). In every area of man’s
life, the woman is equipped to be his companion. Note the Apostle Paul’s
words:
1 Corinthians 11:9
“Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the
man.”
This is a fact that must be learned and taught in order for the family to
succeed today and in the future. It is a great honor to be partners in this
God given foundation of the home and it is exactly in each ones capacity in
the goal that we are here for in gender. The wife has the great honor
helping her husband be the kind of husband that God would have him be, by
being the kind of help-meet God made you to be.
This is the definition of the word loyalty. To be a proper help-meet you
must be loyal to your husband. Your loyalty to him will keep him from
straying, from seeking interests elsewhere, and or failing to give you the
love that enables you to grow in joy towards God.
Your loyalty will make you and the home the most prized possessions he knows
on this earth.
Titus 2:4-5
“that they admonish the young women to love their
husbands, to love their children,
5
to be
discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the
word of God may not be blasphemed.”
As Paul would command Titus to
“speak things which are proper for sound doctrine”
– Titus
2:1; he noted that the wife, being not only loyal, but
trustworthy in all things in the home and to God, would allow him to meet
this:
Titus 2:6-8
“Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded,
7
in all
things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine
showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility,
8
sound
speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed,
having nothing evil to say of you.”
Helping him
meet his godly goals!!!
Each of the
harmonic companions must take the lead in their perspective responsibilities
to God and each other in order to be complete as God has designed. Every man
needs a woman who can join him in these vastly important responsibilities
which in turn make for each of them a far more fulfilling life and service
to God. Imagine how much better the home would be for children who are
raised with parents joined in support of each other to learn true function,
versus the chaotic dysfunction that most families know. The success found in
the family would translate to an improved social morality, and a greater
service to God.
In the next lesson, we will go deeper into Paul’s instruction to Titus
concerning the woman’s role in helping her husband.