“Will
You Marry Me?”
Part VIII
How much do you know about marriage?
In observance of humanity, I am persuaded to believe that too many know too
little about this subject. I invite you to study this very important theme
as God has instructed and instituted this union.
The need is obvious. It is obvious by the fact that two out of three
marriages end in divorce today (a stat that has even found its way into the
“Body of Christ”). It is obvious
by the advice given by marriage counselors, preachers, in-laws, lawyers,
advice columnists, and by this entire like. It is obvious by the attitude of
many of our civil authorities, Senators, representatives, and so on. It is
obvious by the teaching that our children are exposed to in our public
schools.
It is interesting to note that none of the above, including most preachers,
refer to God’s word in dealing with marital problems, or even teaching in
advance the understanding of marriage as God has revealed it. God’s word
affirms that there is not a problem that a husband or wife may have that God
doesn’t answer.
The key is:
APPLICATION!!!
To continue with our study of the marriage relationship and its
corresponding responsibilities, let us revisit a passage of scripture we
introduced in the previous lesson:
Titus 2:4-5
“that they admonish the young women to love their
husbands, to love their children,
5
to be
discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the
word of God may not be blasphemed.”
In this
passage, we learn that older women are instructed to teach the young women
to love their husbands, children, to be discreet, homemakers, good, and
obedient.
The part of
this passage that we want to discuss, just here, is the fact that
wives are to be “keepers of the
home” – “homemakers”. To
Timothy, Paul says the same thing, note:
1 Timothy 5:14
“Therefore I desire that the younger widows
marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity to the
adversary to speak reproachfully.”
There is no precedence being set here that the wife is to be a prisoner
within the four walls of a house. It does; however, mean that she is
responsible for making the house a home. This is the highest calling that a
woman can have!
Remember that the home is the very basis, fabric, and foundation of
civilization, and is the making or breaking point of any society. It has
been said, and is still true that,
“As the family goes, so goes the nation”.
A woman may be the CEO of a fortune 500 company, but if she makes the
house a home at the same time and as her priority, this is where the
honor is before her God, family, and society.
It takes a great deal of living in a home to make it a home and it is the
responsibility of the wife to guide or make the setting for that kind of
living. A home is built and maintained by love, understanding, tenderness,
emotions, kindness, discipline, and cares that she alone as a virtuous woman
can manifest (even though many of these are shared responsibilities, each of
the harmonic duo bring unique capabilities to the table). This is why God
chose her to be the keeper of the home. It is in the home that the
atmosphere is set for a happy family (predicated on the foundations
established by God, enforced by the husband, and jointly accomplished by the
help-meet).The home ought to be a haven for the entire family, whereby they
can all be folded into the bosom
of God. If chaos reigns in the home, then time is spent uselessly
attempting to restore the order that should already exist by the role of the
wife, and detracting from that which should be the order and priorities of
family life.
The older women are to instruct; the younger women are to learn the value
inherent in their roles as home makers in order to leave a legacy or
signature of the wisdom of God for generations to come.
This enforces the fact that for a woman to be the keeper of the home means
that her responsibility to her husband and children comes before any
activity outside of the marriage relationship. The older women must instruct
the younger to see the value of this first and foremost in order to
establish this priority before she seeks any other outside of the home
interest.
Even though the house is the base or headquarters of the operation of being
a keeper at home, it by no means, means that she is confined to a house. The
responsibilities of being a keeper at home are many and varied. How many and
how varied depends upon several circumstances such as the health and needs
of the husband, the number and needs of the children, the economical state
of the family, and yes, even the health and needs of the wife.
A wife needs to do a great deal of the programing and scheduling. In spite
of the modern conveniences, hers is still pretty much a full-time job.
We find often and in many varied ways that women of the scriptures were
often outside the home, assisting the husband in various ways in the family
business and or looking to the assets of the family in her own way; yet, in
all of this the charge of God to be a homemaker was never dismissed,
ignored, or minimized!
A note to husbands,
to all the men who would seek to demonstrate the commands of God to
“Love your wife as yourself”;
you would in addition never undermining the effective efforts of your wife
in making the home. In fact, since she is helping you meet one of the goals
given you by God; you should instead be doing everything within your power
to support and assist her in this given responsibility.
This in no way makes you a lesser man, but in fact shows your clear
understanding of two being one (effective harmony by seeing the value of
each part of the harmony).
A note to children,
this is why the Apostle Paul commands that you
“obey your parents in the
Lord” –
Ephesians 6:1. Paul knew that the
success of the home was predicated on a dual set of responsibilities with
each part adding to the harmony of the home. Even though the father is
charged with the universal responsibility to bring their children
“up in the training and admonition
of the Lord” –
Ephesians 6:4; that the wife was to
help him meet this goal, so she was to be honored as well as the father –
Ephesians 6:2. He also knew that this unified front would
accomplish the complete charge as given by God (not Sunday school, youth
ministers, not Bible camps, but
Dad and Mom! You are the youth ministers! If they are not developing
a love for God and the truth, look in the mirror!).
Next: We will look at some Terms that are Essential for Happy Marriages!